Shower Curtains Revisited
Okay Sparklestone, I put your heritage to the test. I did some solo grocery shopping yesterday. Yes, our network had a planned outage all day, and I didn’t plan on doing any work anyhow, so I decided to do the right thing for my karma, and I officially took the afternoon off.
Anyhow, I had three directives from the Head Cook: milk, orange juice, and eggs. The skim milk and the generic OJ were found without incident, but then I got to the eggs. I have never been properly instructed in the buying of eggs. I mean, I know you have to check and make sure they’re not broken, but which kind does the Boss want? How much should they cost? Then I saw it; a large sign that read:
IGA Eggs
Buy one dozen get,
Get the Second for FREE.
The voices in my head commenced chattering. In one ear I heard St. Nat “Take the eggs you sorry sap. What’s wrong with you? Get four dozen. Can't you read FREE?” In the other ear I heard the Head Cook “These eggs expire on April 11th. How are we supposed to eat that many eggs in 20 days?” And underneath all of the chatter I heard Sparklestone’s mocking giggle.
I was reminded of the Boss' thoughts on the necessity of a decent knife block, but I still chanced bringing home two dozen eggs.
The Head Cook and I have differing opinions on the utility of expiration dates on consumables. In her mind they are absolute barriers that will be adhered to without question. The fact that I consider them mere recommendations does not absolve me of the fact that she IS the Head Cook.
Needless to say, we had eggs for dinner.
Anyhow, I had three directives from the Head Cook: milk, orange juice, and eggs. The skim milk and the generic OJ were found without incident, but then I got to the eggs. I have never been properly instructed in the buying of eggs. I mean, I know you have to check and make sure they’re not broken, but which kind does the Boss want? How much should they cost? Then I saw it; a large sign that read:
IGA Eggs
Buy one dozen get,
Get the Second for FREE.
The voices in my head commenced chattering. In one ear I heard St. Nat “Take the eggs you sorry sap. What’s wrong with you? Get four dozen. Can't you read FREE?” In the other ear I heard the Head Cook “These eggs expire on April 11th. How are we supposed to eat that many eggs in 20 days?” And underneath all of the chatter I heard Sparklestone’s mocking giggle.
I was reminded of the Boss' thoughts on the necessity of a decent knife block, but I still chanced bringing home two dozen eggs.
The Head Cook and I have differing opinions on the utility of expiration dates on consumables. In her mind they are absolute barriers that will be adhered to without question. The fact that I consider them mere recommendations does not absolve me of the fact that she IS the Head Cook.
Needless to say, we had eggs for dinner.
posted by Sylow_P | 8:24 AM
5 Comments:
I am honored to play such a seemingly important role in this posting. One quick correction. St. Nat is NOT the patron saint of anything to do with shopping. Not a good shopper. While buy one get one free sounds like something that would be right up his alley, the buying part is kind of a road block.
But I am a good shopper and I take all expiration dates as a personal challenge.
As an aside, Miss Kate and I go through four dozen eggs every twenty days...easy. And that is without any sales.
Do I have a mocking giggle?
Hey! As long as The Boss as some extra eggs hanging around, maybe she can make some of her famous red beet eggs. We are fans of those.
I am the Minister of Health in our little governmental system. Part of my role as Minister of Health is that of Nutrition Planning and Delivery (aka all the cooking). I, like your Head Cook, feel that the best before date is an absolute barrier that MUST not be crossed. In fact, if an item has crossed the barrier but was left in the fridge, all items NEAR the offending item must also be considered questionable, and closely questioned and/or examined. The Minister of Finance and Social Services (she tells me what I can do, and how much I can spend doing it) thinks I am insane, and occaisionally puts a past-due apple in with a bag of formerly good apples just to see what I'll do. I of course refuse to eat ANY of the apples, which is the only reasonable response.
On the other hand, two dozen eggs for the price of one is a pretty good deal...seperate the whites out of the 2nd dozen and freeze them (if you put them in ice-cube trays before freezing it's easier to use later). You never know when you might need some egg white, and that "almost egg-white" stuff they sell in the stores is gross.
Thanks to Captain Underpants, I'm starting to see some patterns here.
1. It is the duty of every Head Cook/Minister of Nutrition to obey all expiration date intel.
2. Duties of both the Minister of Finance and the Head Cook are sufficiently complex that they are almost never assigned to the same person.
3. Having a mockingly idiotic giggle makes one ill-suited for either position. Which explains why Miss Kate has no time to blog.
Man, this blog has taken a domestic turn. You should think about renaming it, "The things I think about, when I wish I were sweeping."
Dang, Sylow! Your last comment here makes so much sense.
However, I'm not so sure that Sparklestone isn't the Head Cook. He has all the genius and creativity -- I'm mostly the sous chef on good nites and the grunt who gets the grub together on those uninspired evenings.
And I'll second that order for some of SB's red beet eggs. They are legendary.
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