A little prayer

Dear lord, I really do care about my relatives, but can you tell them to stop sending me chain emails? They're really annoying and usually insulting. Is my email address book really the tell-tell indicator of my self worth?

This latest message is the worst yet.

You're My friend,my companion,through good times and my buddy through happy times.,beside me you stand, beside me you walkyou're there to listen,you're there to talk,with happiness,with smiles,with pain and tears,I know you'll be there, through out the yearsyou are all good friends to me.and I am grateful to you.Forward this to all your good friends on-lineto show them you are friends.
If you send this to:
1 person - you are lonely
2 people - you have a couple friends, but not many
3 people - you have a few friends...
4 people - you have some friends...
5 people - you have several friends!!
6 people - you have many friends!!
7 people - you are sooo loved!!

I mean really Lord, I know I don't have many friends. Most of them abondoned me for forwarding them too many emails I didn't actually write myself. I'd love to get emails from relatives about their weekend, or their vacation. They could even send me a picture now and then? I try to set a good example, and maybe I could write a little more often, but they're just not getting the fuckin' point. What am I to do? Please stop the madness.

AMEN

P.S. Do you really grant wishes for forwarding these emails? Cause that sounds a lot like witchcraft to me.