Everybody's doing it
Okay, I finally have enough odd search hits on my blog that I think I can make a post out of them. The numbers indicate how far down my blog was on the search. Here we go...
#8 fucking mother in-law
I mentioned this on Tchotchkes once, but since I've never written about my mother in law (who incidentally is an angel), I thought it deserved repeating.
#10 moving on after "no contact" with ex girlfriend
I'm wondering if those quotes mean 'no contact' or just very little contact. Keep moving, pal.
(#30 with quotes) naked little girl
Okay, I'm really hoping this person pitched a fit when they realized I was talking about a kitten who managed to take her collar off. However, this sicko actually did not use quotes. I looked at the first 100 searches without quotes and could not find my blog, which means this person was willing to go above and beyond in their quest. They win my Ultimate Sicko Award.
#58 sex with a chicken
This one came from someone in Malaysia. I've since removed the region from my list of possible vacation destinations. At 58, this person was desperate for answers. Apparently search hit #5 didn't satisfy him/her (www.sexwithchickens.com). Since ultimate sicko is taken for this round, and they passed up a site devoted to their interests, they win the Ultimate Dumbass Award.
#8 i saw my sister/friend masturbate
This person was obviously very traumitized by whatever they saw. They spent over an hour on a single page of my blog trying to find solace. I'm guessing it wasn't there for them.
#30 sister sleeping with younger brother naked in the same bed
I really want to know who needed this, and which one is naked. Wait, no I don't. Can I unknow this please?
#8 fucking mother in-law
I mentioned this on Tchotchkes once, but since I've never written about my mother in law (who incidentally is an angel), I thought it deserved repeating.
#10 moving on after "no contact" with ex girlfriend
I'm wondering if those quotes mean 'no contact' or just very little contact. Keep moving, pal.
(#30 with quotes) naked little girl
Okay, I'm really hoping this person pitched a fit when they realized I was talking about a kitten who managed to take her collar off. However, this sicko actually did not use quotes. I looked at the first 100 searches without quotes and could not find my blog, which means this person was willing to go above and beyond in their quest. They win my Ultimate Sicko Award.
#58 sex with a chicken
This one came from someone in Malaysia. I've since removed the region from my list of possible vacation destinations. At 58, this person was desperate for answers. Apparently search hit #5 didn't satisfy him/her (www.sexwithchickens.com). Since ultimate sicko is taken for this round, and they passed up a site devoted to their interests, they win the Ultimate Dumbass Award.
#8 i saw my sister/friend masturbate
This person was obviously very traumitized by whatever they saw. They spent over an hour on a single page of my blog trying to find solace. I'm guessing it wasn't there for them.
#30 sister sleeping with younger brother naked in the same bed
I really want to know who needed this, and which one is naked. Wait, no I don't. Can I unknow this please?
posted by Sylow_P | 9:18 AM
9 Comments:
Welcome to my club Sylow! We innocent beings who are pure of mind and body are being abused by Googlers all over the world.
What did we ever do to deserve such fame?
Still, like you, it amazes me that people will plod through dozens of posts to find the one with the dirty stuff..of course that post does not exist.
How come no one is hitting your site (or Sparkle's for that matter) with "seeking brilliant librarian type with cool friends?" I wonder...
Yeah...what Miss Kate said...!
if I were Sylow, I'd respond with a comment about how while he is brilliant, none of his friends are as cool as he is, thus are not hit-worthy...
Unfortunately this is the man who based his online personal on an obtuse mathematical concept. Not exactly the definition of cool. (Keep in mind this is coming from a man who refers to himself as "Captain Underpants".)
That's so damn funny!
How do you check those?
Indeed. How DO you check serch hits?
MB - I'm not sure about pure of mind or body, but I'll go with innocent.
MK - Now that you've written it there I'm sure someone will find it. Unfortunately, like everyone else they probably won't find exactly what they're looking for.
CU - For those in the know, the moniker is a small insult, since it was the last thing in that degree program I understood. Near the end my peers would be trying to explain something to me and I'd say "Can you relate that to sylow-p subgroups, 'cause I'm just not getting it."
oOo & ny,
I use http://statcounter.com/ it's free.
excellent!
Thank you. That's an excellent service. Unfortunately, not too many people want to visit me.
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