She kicked me out of the house!

We almost never go grocery shopping together, because I get bored and it stresses her out. On the way to the car I was swinging this bag that just had a jug of milk in it. I do shit like this now and then because deep down I'm still a twelve year old. I swung it around a little too carelessly, and accidentally hit my wife in the head. She nearly tore my head off right then and there, which actually made no sense to me. I mean it's a plastic container, how much damage could it do?

I tried to explain it wasn't personal. I didn't try to hit her in the head on purpose. It was clearly an accident. I told her I could just as easily have hit a complete stranger, "like her". I said as I pointed to the little old lady trying to walk around me. The heated discussion had caused me to forget that I was still swinging the bag. One smack to the head and the old woman dropped like a rock. I understand how it could have looked otherwise, but I didn't mean to hit her either. We helped her up, and she was fine.

I took a verbal beating all the way home. Of course, she waited until after I had carried all the groceries in the house (including the milk) before she decided to throw me out. Typical! I left in a huff, which means I forgot my coat. It was snowing that day, so I didn't get far before she came after me. I guess, the thought of me freezing to death must have tempered her anger a bit. We worked it out. I said I was sorry, again, and she said she'd forgiven me.

Everything was great, until she woke up and realized it was all a dream. Then she went back to thinking I was a jerk who clocked some poor old woman.

I'll never win.