Totally Fucking Clueless pt.2

I think it’s important to note that I sent that letter long before they tried to contact me at Christmas. I’m not convinced that justifies my anger or actions at the time, but I have no qualms saying I was provoked to do something at the very least.

So, at the end of all that Christmas cheer, SB felt the need to send a thank you card for the gift she received. She opted out of doing that after we talked about it. I explained my fear that my barbarian mother would see that as an opportunity to become pen-pals with SB. From there she could start trying to impose her influence on me (and my marriage) through my wife. It’s not that SB wouldn’t be capable of seeing my mother’s motives. She’s a smart one. I just don’t want her to ever be the one to have to tell my parents to fuck off.

So back to the phone call from my older brother. I feel bad that he’s been turned into a moderator, but he seems to be the only person willing to deal with them on this level. [My oldest brother has to maintain a different relationship with my parents. He needs to be able to stay at their house when he makes the eight hour drive to visit his son.] So my older brother says he’s been asked to find out SB’s birthday because her mother-in-law wants to send her a card.

Now, the more I think about this request, the more irritating it becomes. SB’s mother-in-law is still not listening, and worse yet she's not thinking. I definitely used the word 'we' in my letter. Her continued actions cause me pain and nightmares. How could she possibly believe that SB, my wife, could forgive her for that?

My parents chose this. I told them two years ago that if they could not stop themselves from manipulating and bullying me, I would have no choice but to sever all contact with them. They chose not only to manipulate my vacation, they chose to manipulate SB’s vacation as well. They knowingly threaten my happiness and my health. They are anathema. I will not be safe as long as they let their stupidity guide them, and at this point I have no hope that their stupidity will ever abandon them.

They have ignored my wishes my entire life. It's time for them to ignore my existence as well.

It makes me sad. SB's parents treat me very well. I wish I could offer her the same. SB understands why I cannot. I'll feel safer when we move. I don't like knowing that my parents could show up on my doorstep someday. I'm even afraid to give my Nephew my new phone number, because I know what my mother would be willing to do to him to get it.